Posts tagged ‘Family’

Holiday Meltdown

Yesterday it finally happened.  3:45 in the afternoon and I was sitting in the kitchen crying because I couldn’t get my holiday newsletter’s to print, had no car and was supposed to be across town in ten minutes.

It was more than that really, needing to finish shopping, wrapping, baking, being behind on my writing and reading and (sorry to my poor blogcritics and mindspillers) and just wanting everything to be perfect and unable to make it so.

I managed to take a short nap and wake up with a much better attitude and by cancelling my meeting with my friend got the cards and newsletters done.

But gotta love my sister for trying everything she could think of to help me as I’m standing there freaking out.

Gotta love Holiday Stress. 

Here’s to 6 more days till normality!!


December 20, 2006 at 9:37 am 1 comment

Merry Something…

Last year I was a complete scrooge.  I didn’t want anything to do with Christmas and it felt like such a chore.  I swore this year was going go to be different.  I was going to make christmas cards, homeade gifts, cookies and try and focus on the happiness of the season.

But it seems no matter how much christmas music I blast at full speed, how creative I get about giving and how hard I try to enjoy the holidays….there is a melancholy that just takes over this time of year.

Maybe I just miss the snow.

It has something to do with being single for the holidays.  But, even more than that, the stressfull, forced mood that prevails is enough to make anyone into a scrooge.  Arguments break out over money and time, and people get upset becuase they have too many places to go, or not enough.

I miss being a child and caroling and hot cocoa and christmas music and all that was part of the magic that I can’t seem to get back.  I can do those things, but it doesn’t feel the same.  Somewhere in the back of my mind….those worries are forever creeping in.

My one redeeming grace it seems is cheesy family Christmas Movies.  You know the ones.  The made for TV, derivitive plot romances that appear in droves from Thanksgiving on.  It’s the only time I let myself relax and pretend that Christmas really does exist. 

And just nine more days and all the madness will be over!

December 16, 2006 at 8:46 am Leave a comment

Surviving Thanksgiving, almost…

Yesterday, for the first time in thirty-five years my mother did not cook a turkey for Thanksgiving.  Don’t get me wrong, the full course of stuffing, ham, sweet potatoes and pies accompanied the traditional bird…but for the first time ever, my mother wasn’t in charge. 

What a fabulous idea.  I love my mother and her cooking, but she tends to get a bit overly stressed and perfectionistic around the holidays, so when my cousin offered to host this year’s festivities at her house we all sighed a collective “Yes!”

I have to say it was one of the most enjoyable Thanksgivings I can remember.  I’m sure a bit of that had something to do with the expensive wine being passed around.  But more, there was a relaxed atmosphere….for the first time I can remember at a family gathering I didn’t feel rushed, in the way, lazy, or out of place.  I just had a good time.

Until…I woke up this morning with a horrible cold or something that I think I got from  my um ex-boyfriend…well we don’t need to go into that either. 

It just seems whenever we have family in town, I manage to get sick.  Most people insist that I’m always sick, and I almost have to agree, except there was that one day last week….

Nano, is going down the drain….between being sick, family in town, getting ready for the holidays early so I’m not stressed. (ha, ho, ho).  Let’s see 5 days left and I still haven’t broken 30,000 words.  Not impossible I suppose, but with the packed schedule we have until my brother and his family leave on Tuesday, not likely.

But that’s okay.  I accomplished alot, and I found an entirely new direction for the plot to go that I wasn’t expecting, but which gives it a strong theme and spine.  I’m very excited, but it’s going to take some more research as well…so I’ll have plenty to keep me busy.

One last note. In the spirit of Thanksgiving I just want to mention, because I don’t do it often enough; how grateful I am for the excessess I have in my life.  Excesses of love, of understanding, of support, and of friendship.   Thank you to those of you who have helped to make me who I am today and have allowed me to be a part of your lives.  Because that’s all that really matters in the end.

November 24, 2006 at 9:31 am Leave a comment

Yes, I’ve become a Hermit…

…as my parents feel the need to almost continually remind me.  I’m not sure who it was exactly, that decided that was a bad thing.  I’m beginning to think there may be something to it all.  For your money, here’s what my daily hermitting entails:

Organization:  Trying to fit 30 years worth of ideas, writing, instruction on writing, research and journaling into some sort of easily accessible “less than mess,” so that I can concentrate on actually writing. It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.  My system is at least mapped out and backed up, if not completely filed and indexed yet.

Reading:  Books on writing, screenwriting, promotion, philosophy, new and classic novels, instructional newsletters, rss newsfeeds, email and of course the occasional US Weekly or fun web site to give my brain some down time.

Promotion:  Work on framework for promotion including an under construction author’s website as well as a website for other writers and business folk.  Also putting together ideas for a newsletter to go along with both sites.

Actually Writing:  I haven’t kept solid track of my output for each and every day, except to say that I try to push my self a little bit farther today than I was able to stretch yesterday.  I’m still working on ‘Broken Butterflies,’ however, now in novel form.  I also spend time on several other projects, blogging or journaling pretty much every day.

Naps: Ok I admit it, occasionally my body just says, “NO MORE!”

This Week: is especially crazy for me.  I’m attending my first online Writers Conference this week and barely have time between sessions to breathe let alone take the nap my head wants.  But, I’m finding it a great networking and learning experience and highly recommend it.  It’s free, and I can attend in my pj’s!  What more could a girl want.

Speaking of conferences, I had to cancel my reservations in LA for this year’s Screenwriting Expo.  After attending the past two years, it will be missed.  But unfortunately bills,  and my health have to come first.  Hopefully I’ll be back next year.

I’ve also decided to participate in this year’s National Novel Writing Month, where I will endeavor to complete a 50,000 word novel, start to finish during the month of November.  So consider yourself forewarned.  If I don’t return phone calls or emails, I’m either trying desperately to get my word count, or sleeping.  Feel free to act as my conscience and keep track of my progress.  I have a few ideas percolating for this project and can’t wait for November to start. 

(And I’m already 3 weeks behind on Grey’s Anatomy, thank heaven for DVR’s)

Ok, I promise not to become a total hermit for life, there are some movies I want to see, and I still have to go to doctor’s appointments…so I hereby pledge at least one non-hermit activity per week!!!  And yah, Dad I promise I’ll get that cost comparison you want done…Does that count?

October 9, 2006 at 5:47 pm Leave a comment

On Admiring My Sister

The following is from my sister’s blog.  For anyone who doesn’t know, my sister is almost 10 years younger than me, and she’s been through alot.  In addition to dealing with addictions that took root at a very young age, she has already been through a difficult marriage, difficult delivery, and a constant battle to regain the trust of those she loves.  She has also seen many friends die from drug overdose.  Just this past week, another of her friends, a kid I had met on several occasions died of a heroin overdose.   I think this makes a total of 8 and she is only 21 years old.  At thirty, I haven’t lost a single friend to anything, so I can’t even imagine what that must be like.  It also gives you a glimpse of what it has been like for us over the past years, wondering if she would be the next one to die.

Today, her future is looking much more secure.  Things are not perfect, but to see her interacting with her son, smiling and laughing without any chemical help, talking openly about her addictions and attending meetings through the church is something I wouldn’t have thought possible just six months ago.  I’m so proud of her. 

For the first time in my life I feel like I have a semblance of what I’ve always wanted, a real relationship with her, and I just want to see her succeed so badly.  For the first time in a long time she has goals and dreams of things she wants to accompllish, and I want to help her with those goals.

She has even been an inspiration to me, reminding me of all the things I clung to for support not so long ago and awakening in me a desire to return in one way or another to that life.

Theresa, know that you are in my thoughts at all times and in every prayer.  So many people love you and want to see you succeed.  Your son loves you and he understands your struggles.  He is proud of you and so happy to have his “ma-ma” back.

I love you!


Life goes pretty smooth when you’re doing the right thing!
I definately have a lot to say about my life right now. I am so proud of myself for overcoming an addiction. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and something that I struggled with for a very long time. But I am so proud to be the person that I am today! I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I have learned alot through this whole experience and probably the best thing is that I can be forgiven. I love that I can be a Mother again to my son Ryland and that when he looks at me I know in my heart that he loves me. What a great feeling. I truly do not understand what I was running from for so long, LIFE IS AMAZING!

October 1, 2006 at 5:57 pm 1 comment

Family Album

Just a quick link to some pics my bro posted of the fam at the beach (minus me 😦   I overslept and missed my ride to cali.)  Kids are too darn cute though, had to share.

My Photo Album

Cambria May-2006

May 26, 2006 – 62 Photos

October 1, 2006 at 5:54 pm Leave a comment

Poor Little Rye Bye

Sadly, I’m not the only one spending time in the hospital and getting poked and proded with needles lately. We had to take Ryland into the ER last night after he woke up screaming and I went in to find him throwing up and acting very unresponsive. They ran every test you can think of on him, including a spinal tap (ouch!) to check for spinal meningitis. They kept him in the hospital last night, thinking he had somehow ingested something he shouldnt have, but are now thinking he may have had a seizure and are keeping him at least another night. Poor little guy. Everyone keep my little angel nephew in your prayers. Thanks.

September 24, 2006 at 6:08 pm Leave a comment

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